Changing and Growing

What does it mean to be a mom? Every year my sons change and grow and with that so does my role as a mom. Of course there are things that will never change whether they are 2 years old or 42 years old. They will always be my kids even when they are taller than me and married with kids of their own. Although I know that when they get older I won't be able to kiss away the hurts of life like I can now when they fall down, I'll always be there to pick them up. I promise to myself and my sons that no matter what happens in their lives they can know that they will have atleast 2 people that will always support them, love them, and believe in them: Mommy and Daddy.

Being a mom changes a lot when your kids become school age. Both of my sons are now in school and it's only been a month into this school year and I'm definitely being reminded of this. The summer provides a small break from that world and a happy reminder of the years when it was just me and my boys. I'm so proud of everything that they do in school and I love going through their papers and getting their artwork, but I definitely treasure the summer when it's just me and them and the memories we make together.

When the boys were babies my role as a mom was a lot different than it is now. My "uniform" was simply anything I didn't care if it got boogers, poop, or puke on. Black bags under my eyes were the norm and still they would say that I was pretty (when they could talk that is!) and before they could talk they would put their little hands on my cheeks and just stare at me with a look that can only be described as pure love (if you're a mom, you know this look!) They didn't see the stained clothes or the tired eyes, they saw me. When they were babies my role as a mom was to feed them, clean up after them, clean them, get their clothes clean...basically it was a lot of cleaning! The fun side of that was that the main attraction for the day was "What funny face is Mommy going to make today to make me laugh?" To this day they still get a kick out of that game. The thing I loved the most about when they boys were babies was showing them something for the first time. It was amazing to watch their eyes get big with wonder. I remember taking Matthew in his stroller down on the boardwalk across the river and showing him the river up close for the first time. I remember Riley kicking his kick toy and seeing it light up for the first time. We made up silly songs and I sang horribly out of tune to the delight of both the boys. Actually, I still do this and now they add their own verses to the mix!

The older that they get the more their world expands. They have teachers, coaches, and friends. They begin to branch out and create their own world. I feel so lucky that they still get so excited to include me in those things. They love that I get so excited at their baseball games (and cheer at the top of my lungs!), that I love going to their school open house, that I put their school work up on display. My "mom uniform" has changed a lot since their baby days. Don't get me wrong, I still rock the sweatpants and old shirts but they have their place and time. I highly doubt they would enjoy me showing up to their baseball games like that! A lot of the things that I had to do for them when they were little they can now do themselves and believe me they let you know it! Now, I think one of their favorite things to do is to help ME do things.

The reason I'm writing this post is because I am about to redo my dry erase calendar soon for the month of October. I was thinking about all the appointments and meetings and school functions that I will need to write on it. It got me thinking about how different things are now. I can't say that there has been one age that I have liked better than another because each stage had it's own great and hard things. I do know, however, that I'm excited about all of the new great and hard things yet to come.

Along with all the changes that a mom goes through, dad's go through changes as well. I'm thankful that I've had such a great partner, friend, and husband that has grown with me. I'm thankful that my sons have a dad that they can look up to and admire, even if they do beat him in a race around the yard (daddy says it was a tie..hmmm haha!).

Sometimes it's hard to deal with change and I'm not going to pretend that I don't cry like a baby when my kids get on the bus that first day of school..I do! I think back to the days when there were no words, just little hands cupped around my cheeks to a day we had this summer at the lake when out of the blue I was told by my son Riley "you're the best mom in the world!" promptly followed by Matthew saying "hey, I think that too!"...and it shows me that in a world that can be so uncertain at times we will always have eachother and LOVE.

Riley is 5!

I can't believe it's been 2 months since I've written here. I didn't get flooded with any emails about my absence so I'm sure no one really minded ;-).

On September 12th (which it will be in just about 1 hour from this moment) my youngest son Riley will be 5 years old.

My due date with Riley was September 12th but I really didn't think he would actually come that day. I mean really, how often are babies born on their actual due date? I had been feeling really sick the night of September 11th and made Matt sleep on the couch that night, something I really hated to do! I just couldn't get comfortable and needed the entire bed to spread out and ease my pain. I woke up the morning of September 12th just a few minutes before 6 am. I'm sure for most people the first thing on your mind when you wake up is a trip to the restroom. If you've ever been pregnant you know this urge gets multiplied by 100. So, that morning as with every other morning for the last 9 months I got out of bed fully intending to head to the rest room. I put my feet on the floor, stood up, and my water broke. I ran (waddled) out to the living room where Matt was peacefully unaware of what had just occured. The day was finally here. Labor was easier the second time around because I knew what to expect and I kept telling myself that no matter how much pain I was in I could get through it and at the end I would have my beautiful son. Riley was born at 1:17pm on September 12th (a far cry from the 23 hour labor with Matthew!). He was beautiful. My kid's birthdays are the 2 happiest days of my life.

Now Riley is 5 years old. I love his silly faces, his goofy dance moves, and his funny phrases. I love how he writes his name with every letter being a different size. I love how he likes to help me make crafts and thinks I'm an amazing cook (I'm not!!!). I love how he loves his big brother and absolutely adores his daddy. I love you Riley, Happy Birthday.